


Rock-a-bye Baby

by Rising_Phoenix



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Answer, Apologies, Arguing, Armory, Baby, Babysitting, Bouncing, Car Sex, Child, Conversation, Coughing, Crying, Dirt - Freeform, Dirty love, Doctor - Freeform, Doughnut - Freeform, Driving, Eating, Eventual Smut, F/M, Feeding, First Kiss, Food, Fruit, Fucking, Healing, Jelly filled, Jelly filled doughnuts, King - Freeform, Medicine, Queen - Freeform, Run, Sanctuary, Sarcasm, Sassy, Screw - Freeform, Sex, Sexual, Singing, Smut, Three months, Toothpick - Freeform, Toys, Warming Up, Water, Wives, afraid, automobile, bag - Freeform, blur - Freeform, box - Freeform, breast feeding, car, care for, excedrin, freaky - Freeform, freaky deaky, grapes, headache, infirmary, knife, look after, messages, mountain, plush tiger, river - Freeform, room, scavenging, sick, single mother, sleeping, smiling, spitting up, stroller, supplies, tend to, vehicle, wife - Freeform, worried
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-15
Updated: 2017-06-30
Packaged: 2018-09-24 14:25:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9759191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rising_Phoenix/pseuds/Rising_Phoenix
Summary: You always believed in the saying to never judge a book by its cover and, for good reason, coming to realize that sometimes the bad guys make the best good guys





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Re-posted 
> 
> Story inspired by Clean Bandit's "Rockabye" 
> 
> Will be updated soon as more ideas arise...

One hand unbuttons halfway down a purple shirt, the other holds a baby close to my chest protectively like a football. Left breast, exposed, her tiny pink lips wrapped around my nipple, sucking it dry and sore.

“Mommy loves you so much baby” I lower my head and plant a soft kiss on her delicate skin next to her rose headband, round y/e/c tear filled eyes watching her with awe “I will never let anything happen to you” I smile proudly at my life, singing her softly to sleep with Clean Bandit’s ‘Rockabye’, unaware I was being watched and heard

“You sing quite beautifully” a familiar, rough, male voice speaks

I tense, quickly turning my head, eyes staring directly at the devil himself – Negan – his right side leaning against the wooden doorframe, his deadly barb wired bat, Lucille, hanging proudly on his shoulder

I ignore him, my eyes averting back to the child snuggled up in my arms, angry, cursing myself for even thinking it a good idea to leave the door open for fresh air

After all, that’s what windows are for

“You know” He grins “When someone gives you a compliment, it’s only common decency to reciprocate it with a ‘thank you’” He waits, sucking his teeth, annoyed at my silence “Listen, I get it-” Wooden floor boards creak rhythmically under his boots as he trudges closer, plopping himself down on the unoccupied cushion next to me “You’re still angry that I-” He clicks his tongue as he swings Lucille down from his shoulder holding her briefly in his hands, purposely taunting me, reminding me of the nightmare I had to endure watching two of my friends, no, family, get beaten to the point they were no longer recognizable, all because of him and the said wooden instrument “Right?”

My head turns, now glaring at him, at his features – black hair, salt and pepper beard accentuating his rosy lips and brown eyes, his rugged face aging gracefully like fine wine “Why are you here, you said one week”

“I missed you” he chuckles, his eyes lowering to the child in my arms, his ungloved hand raising to caress her “What’s-”

“Don’t touch her” I turn away from him, shielding my child

“I’m sorry doll”

“Y/n” Rick voices from the doorway “Are you al-”

“The beautiful lady is fine Rick!” Negan retorts “You know since you’re here, make yourself useful and go get me something to drink from the kitchen, would you?”

We make eye contact, Rick and I, my head nodding, signaling to him that, yes, I was indeed fine

“Any day now Rick!”

Rick, with clenched jaw, stomps his way towards the kitchen, the sound of running water, like a waterfall, entering my ears

“Tell me sweetheart, who was the lucky son of bitch to have a go at you, hm?”

“Here” Rick hands Negan the glass of water

“Thank you” Negan wraps his black leather covered digits around the cylinder glass “You can fuck off now Rick, your services are no longer required here at the moment”

“Could you not curse in front of my child please?”

“My apologies doll, they just slip out” Negan answers, flashing his pearly whites “So-” he raises the brim of the glass to his lips taking a long sip “Was it Red?”

I shake my head

“The Asian?”

“No” My head shakes once more

“Was it even any of these pussies running around here?”

“Language” I warn, my daughter releasing her lips from my teat, yawning “I have to go lay her down, excuse me” I stand up, exposed breast and all, making my way down to another room, laying y/d/n inside her crib next to her favorite teddy bear

I lean down and kiss her once more, gently “Sweet dreams my sweet girl” I raise back up, hands nervously fidgeting with the buttons on my shirt

“What is her name?” His manly, deep voice startling me

I turn around, Negan inching closer towards me with Lucille propped back up like a trophy on his shoulder, his soft, sparkling eyes glancing down at my daughter inside her crib

“Y/d/n” I mutter hesitantly with a roll of the eyes, giving in “Her name is y/d/n”

“Y/d/n” Negan repeats “She’s beautiful” he averts his eyes on me, a sincere smile plastered on his face “Just like her mother”

“Thank you”

“Now, that wasn’t so hard was it?” He chuckles “I’m just fu-…messing with you doll”

A fake simper forms with the lines of my lips, patiently awaiting his departure, whenever that may be

“You don’t talk much, do you?” he steps closer, his face inches away from mine “You’re the quiet type”

“You call it quiet, I call it just keeping to myself”

“Wow, I like that” Negan whispers seductively into my ear, inhaling deeply, taking in the scent of my perfume “I like you” he raises his hand tucking a loose strand of my hair behind my ear “You know, I was this close-” his index finger and thumb making a pinching gesture “To taking your fine ass back with me instead of Daryl, but-” his eyes once again glancing down at my daughter sleeping soundly “Now, I’m glad I didn’t”

“You shouldn’t have taken Daryl either” I brush past him, Negan following behind me back into the living room

“Holy shit, he is the father isn’t he?”

“No, since you want to know so bad, her father was an abusive asshole who I killed in self-defense days after the world became the way it is” I admit, losing patience “That three month old girl in there is the only good thing he has ever blessed me with, everything else was nothing but fractured bones and black eyes” the palms of my hands rubbing my eyes dry of tears “I don’t know why someone like you even remotely gives a fuck but there you go”

“Y/n, I-”

I cut him off, treading past him into the kitchen only, this time, he doesn’t follow behind me, going his separate way outside leaving me alone, for now, knowing that he will eventually be back sooner rather than later. 


	2. Chapter 2

Infectious giggles of a three month old filled the air as y/d/n sat on my knee laughing at my silly faces of crooked eyes and poking tongues, her mini chubby hands touching anything they can within her reach

“You like mommy’s silly faces huh?” I pull another, her giggles growing louder and more infectious

“Oh, look at the little princess in pink sitting on her mommies lap all pretty” Sasha compliments as she makes her way closer towards the porch

“Look who it is y/d/n, it’s auntie Sasha” I turn my baby around and grab her small hand waving it at Sasha “Say hi auntie Sasha” her mouth only vocalizing nonsensical baby talk

“How is she?”

“She’s good but I’m worried for her, you know, especially since-”

“Negan?”

I nod, my face growing somber and my stomach growing sick just at the mention of his name “I haven’t been able to sleep ever since the lineup, you know, and every time I try to I just see him and his treacherous bat just swinging down an Abraham and Glenn over and over and over” 

“I know y/n” she sighs, her hand planted on my knee “He’s made it hard to sleep then and it’s still hard to sleep now especially after they went and took our mattresses, those assholes”

“They did what?”

“His people raided our houses and destroyed everything, taking our mattresses, leaving us with nothing” Sasha contorted her face into one of confusion “His people didn’t go inside your house did they, only him?”

“No, they didn’t” I shake my head “He just came in and talked to me”

“Jesus” she scoffs “Eugene mentioned his minions never stepping foot into your house but I didn’t believe it”

“He just ta-”

“Little pig, little pig, let me in!” His voice rang from outside the gates, wooden bat banging against heavy metal. Rick opens the port, Negan grinning with Lucille on his shoulder, a bag dangling from his fingertips down at his side.

We make eye contact for a split second before I stand and scurry my way inside with y/d/n, shutting the door behind me. I sit y/d/n down in her bouncy seat and make my way over to the window, pulling the curtain aside witnessing Negan converse with Rick who only stared down at the ground nodding his head, defeated.

I close the curtain and sit down on the couch watching y/d/n playing with the toys dangling above her head “Y/d/n can you say fish?” my hand pointing at the blue fish above her “Can you say fi-” I pause at the loud knocks outside my door, ignoring them

“Come on y/n I know you’re in there” Negan loudly enunciates, continuing to bang “I’m not leaving until I talk to you doll, I can keep banging like this long and hard all day baby”

My eyes roll dramatically as I stand, clearly annoyed, and make my way over to the door, inhaling deeply before I unlatch the locks and swing the door open “What do you want?”

Negan forces his way past me into the living room, witnessing y/d/n laughing and flailing her arms “I told you sweetheart, I just want to fucking talk to you” he whispers lowering Lucille and the bag down on the couch, his attention now on my daughter “Look at you sweetheart, aren’t you a precious little angel y/d/n?”

She extends her arms towards Negan, motioning with grabby hands

“Oh, yes you are precious!” He picks her up, bouncing her in his arms

“Ca-can you please put her down?” I question nervously with a shaking voice

He turns towards me with y/d/n’s chubby hands booping his nose and feeling on his facial hair

“Please?” I plead

Negan plants a kiss on her forehead “Sure” he grins “Only because you asked so nicely” his tall body leans forward gently sitting y/d/n back into her bouncy chair

A sigh of relief washes over me, eyes planted on the white plastic bag sitting on the couch “You said you wanted to talk, about what?”

“You’re very impatient” he chuckles “I wanted to apologize for last time, for making you uncomfortable. That wasn’t my intention”

“Okay, apology accepted” I nod, obviously lying, impatiently tapping my foot against hardwood “Is that it?”

“No” he elongates grabbing the bag from the couch pulling out a tiger plush toy along with a bouncy ball and various other toys such as yellow rubber ducks, Barbie dolls and a few toy cars “I got these for y/d/n on a run” Negan hands y/d/n the plush tiger, resting the others on the coffee table “They’re not in the most perfect condition but it’s-”

“Why?”

“Pardon, sweetheart?”

“Why?” I repeat “Why are you being nice, why are you getting my daughter toys, why didn’t you raid my house like all the others-” I inch closer towards him lifting my head, glaring into his eyes with my arms crossed “Why do you care?”

“Honestly, doll I-” He places his gloved hand on my hip

“Don’t you dare touch me” I retort removing his hand, backing away

“I’m sorry” he apologizes, gloved fingers pinching the bridge of his nose “I-”

“Why do you care?” I question again, louder this time

“Because I like you okay?” He admits, raising his arms at his sides, slapping them back down on his thighs “Shit, you caught my eye at the lineup and now I just can’t fucking find myself to stay the hell away from you” He briefly turns away from me “Look, you have every right to feel upset, to hate me, to curse me but you will not keep me away from you”

“Why, what the hell do you want?”

“Just for you to know me doll” he sighs “That’s it”

“I know you’re a freaking lunatic”

“The real me doll” he corrects with a crooked simper “I promise you there will come a time, whether it be a month or a year, when you get over your anger and hate towards me and decide to just give me chance, and when that time comes I guaran-fucking-tee you that your heart will feel the same way about me as mine does about you”

I shake my head, bottom lip quivering “Please just leave”

“Okay” he grabs Lucille off the couch, hanging her on his shoulder, his feet stomping closer to me, lips centimeters away from my ear “Don’t judge a book by its cover y/n” he whispers “Because even though the cover is shit, the story written on those pages may be the best thing you ever read” he caresses my cheek lightly with the back of his hand, walking away “Think about that y/n”  


	3. Chapter 3

Tears streamed down her pinchable cheeks like a waterfall once she understood that I was stepping out into the wild amongst the monsters in search for supplies to provide Negan with as we were pretty low enough as it was, auntie Tara agreeing to watch her while I was away.

Occupied with only a knife, I bid my daughter goodbye and stepped out stabbing, kicking, punching, and pushing my way through walkers to any useful place I could find to gather whatever supplies were left, filling my bag with food cans, medical supplies, hygiene products and, once satisfied, made my safe return home before nightfall, entering through the open gates, tired and covered in walker blood to find some extra trucks with Negan’s minions inside, Tara sitting on my front porch without my daughter, my blood boiling hotter than water inside me.

“Tara, what the hell, where is y/d/n?” I question bitterly with arms crossed

Tara contorts her face into one of innocence, apologizing with only the use of her features, head tilted towards my home, I, rolling my eyes, put two and two together, immediately understanding that Negan was inside with her.

Angrily, I swing the door open and storm inside to, indeed, find Negan sitting on my couch with y/d/n sleeping peacefully on his chest, her thumb in her mouth, toys scattered all over the couch cushion and carpeted floor.

“What in the hell are you doing here?”

“Well hello to you to doll” he whispers “I’m just visiting” his dark eyes glancing at my daughter, lips cocked into a simper “Y/d/n here sure is a joy to babysit, we pl-”

“I never asked you to, please leave”

“We played peek-a-boo-” Negan continues “Ball, blocks, with Mr. Tiger” he holds up the tiger plush toy “We had a blast y/n” he concludes, never offering a response to my request, instead only steering the conversation in the direction of his own liking “Where were you?”    

I roll my eyes and toss the bag on the empty spot on the couch next to him “Scavenging for you”

“My, how sweet” he taunts “Alone with no weapon?”

My hand pulls out the knife, metal blade covered in blood

“Pocket knife” Negan raises his brows in fascination “Impressive”

“Well, I don’t like guns, and I still don’t like you, please leave” I try again, maybe this time hopefully getting through to him

Negan stands, laying y/d/n in her stroller gently, careful to not wake her. Smiling, he inches closer, his tall, lanky frame towering above me “I will doll but before I do, whenever I feel like it, of course-” he snickers “I think it would be enjoyable to screw your brains out. I mean, if you’re agreeable to it”

His boldness and bluntness now just only caused more anger to be piled up on top of the one I was already feeling. Having enough, my hand raises and slaps Negan hard across the face. Of course, it was a dangerous move on my part but not like I cared as I just went along with it without thinking, his head whiplashing roughly to the side. He takes a moment to gather himself, sliding his lips closer to my ear “I’m 50% more into you now” he giddily whispers, shivers tingling up and down my spine, feeling disgusted, stomach doing flips and not in the ‘oh my God I’m in love’ kind of way.

My digits clench tighter around the handle of the knife, knuckles turning white, knowing and understanding the terrible consequences of what would happen if I were to kill him right now in my living room “You’re an asshole” I mutter through gritted teeth instead, placing the weapon back inside my pocket

“I know” he chuckles, proudly accepting, owning up to the fact “But deep down you love me, and you know it”

“I don’t. The only person I love is that girl in the stroller. You can be mauled to death by walkers for all I care”

“Wow” his facial features contorting into one of pain, his gloved hand planted on his chest above his heart “That fucking stung baby but-” his face now once again back to one of happiness, lips into a smirk “I forgive you because I know you don’t really mean it, that’s just your anger talking, whatever-” his hand waving carelessly into thin air “It is you’re angry about. Are you on-”

“No”

“Just checking doll because you know, some women get all-“ he pauses as my daughter wakes up crying, Negan immediately rushing by her side picking her up, bouncing her in his arms, gently shushing and reassuring her repeatedly that everything is okay, whatever ‘everything’ is.

I, as her mother, of course instinctively first thought that she was either hungry or needed a diaper change but, as luck would have it, I was wrong as she slowly quieted down, now just sniffling and giggling to Negan’s silly faces.

“Who has the prettiest darn smile in the whole wide world?” Negan inquires in a voice mimicking that of a child “You do” he gasps, the tip of his finger booping y/d/n’s tiny nose “You have the prettiest darn smile y/d/n, yes you do”

“You fed her?”

“I did, my dear, mashed peaches. I even changed her diaper as well” he averts his attention on me “Surprised?”

I shrug my shoulders unsurely “Tara could’ve done that and, knowing you, maybe you’re just taking her credit”

“Go out there and ask her” his head nodding towards the door “Why is it just so hard for you to believe that I do have some good in me y/n, I just choose to let it out on those I care about like you and this adorable little munchkin here”

“Sure you do, you sure show it by harassing me constantly, everyone out there probably thinking we have a love affair going, too scared to even say anything about it at this point”

“Fuck ‘em”

“Language”

Negan casually rolls his eyes “Although my offer does stand y/n” his eyes raking over my figure “I would love to screw your brains out”

“Am I supposed to be flattered by such a disgusting offer?”

“Let me kiss you just one time sweetheart, and I promise you that ‘disgusting’ will be replaced with moaning and begging daddy for more”

My hand trembles down at my side, Negan immediately taking notice

“You want to slap me again doll? I’ll give you a free pass” his tongue pokes out, running along his bottom lip “I like it rough”

I make my way over to him, pulling y/d/n out of his arms, wrapping her into those of my own “I would rather eat dirt”

“Your loss sweetheart” Negan struts over towards the couch, picking up Lucille, placing her on his shoulder, smiling “See you soon, precious” he winks, trudging towards the door “Keep the bag” he mutters as he continues to walk “You’ve earned it for yourself”  


	4. Chapter 4

How silly of one to think, to believe, that we were finally free just because the evil that is the Saviors have not stepped foot on Alexandrian soil in two weeks. Yeah, I laugh at myself for even having such a ridiculous notion, these two eyes coming face to face with devil himself yet once again.

“Y/n, sweetheart!” Negan greets with a grin soon as I opened the front door, his hand holding a bouquet of flowers, Carl standing behind him “How are ya?”

“I’m-” I pause as Negan pushes his way into my home, whistling, a feeling of uneasiness running through my veins, my focus now on Carl instead “Carl, what happened?”

“Carl paid me a little visit” Negan interjects, Lucille pointing at the child in the brown cowboy hat “Daryl was getting worried about him so I, along with a few of my men, brought him home” he smirks “See y/n, yet again I prove to you that I am not so bad”

I roll my eyes, folding my arms across my chest

“Kid” he continues “I’m going to need you to skedaddle the fuck out of here now because y/n and I have some grown up things-” he winks “To discuss”

Carl and I exchange a glance, my head giving him a single nod “It’s okay” I whisper, opening the door for him to step out

“Go on kid, move them feet” Negan’s index and middle finger imitating feet, walk in thin air towards the direction of the wooden frame

Huffing, Carl hesitates at first but eventually steps out, my hand shutting the door behind him

“Alone at last” Negan chuckles “Did you miss me?”

“No-” I retort matter of fact, shaking my head, my orbs landing at the arrangement of flowers in his hand “Not really”

“Well shit, I fucking missed you” his ungloved hand extending in my direction “Which is why I brought you these”

“Flowers” I state the obvious with a clipped tone “You steal these from another community?”

“Very funny sweetheart, but I actually had one of my wives pick them out specifically for you”

I contort my facial features into one of confusion and disgust, hesitantly accepting the arrangement of roses, lilies, and daffodils, sniffing their sweet scent “Wives, plural, as in more than one?”

“Yes” He grins, proud “You can be number six if you wish, I always have an open spot for a smoking hot woman like yourself”

“You’re disgusting”

“So-” Negan elongates, stretching the word “That’s a no?”

“Yes, that’s a definitive no” I place the stems of the flowers behind my ear “But thanks for the flowers anyway”

Negan hangs his head low, nodding with a pouted lower lip “Okay” he rests Lucille against the edge of the coffee table “Where is y/d/n, I miss that little angel”

“She’s slee-” I toss my head back, groaning at the screeching cries emitting from the bedroom

“Relax doll, I’ll handle it” Negan scurries into the bedroom, picking up y/d/n, bouncing her in his arms, quickly turning her cries into giggles “Hey angel, how are you precious?”

Little y/d/n speaks nonsensical jargon, her hand reaching for Negan’s hair

“How do you do that?” I inquire with curiosity, watching him from my place at the door as he coddled my daughter against his chest like she was his own

“Do what, doll?” his orbs on y/d/n but his words directed at me

“Get her to stop crying so fast”

“Jealous?”

“No” I fib “Just curious”

“Nothing freaking special darling, I just repetitively assure her that everything is okay as I bounce her and make stupid faces” he answers, doing as mentioned “Did you know y/n, that babies have the ability to distinguish between good and bad people?”

“No, your point being?”

“That this little adorable, chubby cheeked munchkin here has yet to squirm, or yell, or even cry in my presence. Matter of fact, it’s always been the opposite”

“Are you insinuating that that’s because she views you as a good person?”

“That’s exactly what I’m saying”

“Well, that may be true but it’s fact, Negan, that we all have both good and bad in us. Ever hear that even a white rose has a black shadow?”

“You’re right, we do, but babies know nothing, zilch about us or the world and yet they can tell”

“Fascinating” I retort sarcastically, already done with this conversation

“It is” Negan simpers “By the way, I meant to ask you, where’s Rick?”

“Out, scavenging for you”

“Great! Did he say when he’ll be back?”

“No, he didn’t”

Negan ambles his way into the living room with y/d/n still in his arms, taking a seat on the couch “Then I’ll wait”

“Well, he and Aaron went out pretty far, they might not be back today”

“I’m in no rush, I have all the freaking time in the world, darling”

I exhale a long sigh, running my hand through my hair “Fine”

“Come on sweetheart, don’t look so glum, I’m a pretty fun guy to spend a few or so effing hours with” his hand pats down on the empty cushion next to him “Come on, take a seat”

“Yeah, I’m sure you are, and no, I have to get dinner started, so if you’ll excuse me” I tread into the kitchen, pulling out the ingredients

“What are you making?”

“Spaghetti”

“Awesome, I love spaghetti”

“Good to know”

“I also make a pretty mean sauce, I would love to help you with that”

Silence filled the house as I ignored him, going about my business

“Y/n?”

“I heard you” I counter, annoyed, inserting the golden strands of spaghetti into the boiling water

Negan stands, sashaying his way inside the kitchen, y/d/n in his arms “So, yes or no on me and the sauce?”

“Knock yourself out”

“Lovely, will do” he snickers “Right after I shave”

“What?”

 “Right after I shave” Negan repeats, his hand running over his facial hairs

“No, I heard you, why?”

“My, my, y/n, are you insinuating that you like my beard and suggest I don’t shave?”

“No” I deny strongly, shaking my head “I just wonder why you couldn’t shave at your own place before you got here, or do you not own any form of a razor?”

“Matter of fact, I own plenty of razors” he sassily retorts “Do you?”

I glare at Negan with squinted eyes and slanted brows “I do”

“Perfect, be right back” Negan sits y/d/n in her high chair, exiting to the restroom

Groaning, I turn off the stove and pick up my daughter, joining Negan, his cheeks and chin covered with white foam, plopping myself down on the toilet seat

“Doll-” he smirks, glancing at my reflection in the mirror “How nice of you to join me” Negan picks up the straight razor placing it on the bottom of his neck, shaving upwards “Against the grain y/n, always against the grain”

Nodding, I offer no response, sarcastically giving him the thumbs up, even though I was aware he could not see, my attention going on my daughter “No, y/d/n, honey don’t chew on mommies hair sweetie”

Negan guffaws, the razor shaving along his cheek “She’s adorable”

"She is, even if she does get on my nerves because she loves to chew on everything within her reach” I grab my hair, dangling the strands down the other side of my shoulder “Usually does that as a sign letting me know she’s hungry for real food so-” I stand, y/d/n on my hip “I should probably go feed her”

"How much do you have?”

“Of what?”

“Baby food”

“A few” I sigh “Enough for today and tomorrow”

“Then after dinner, we should go and get her some more, have one of your fine people here babysit her while we’re away”

“I’m sorry, we?”

“Yes” he turns his head, glancing at me over his shoulder “We, as in you and I”

“I can get my daughter’s food on my own, thank you very much”

“You can, and I can be the one to babysit just like before”

“No, no you can’t”

“Then we go out and get her baby food together, it’s either one or the other y/n”

“Or you can leave back to your sanctuary and I get someone I actually trust to watch her while I’m out getting her food by myself”  

Negan ponders for a moment, finishing up the other side of his cheek “No, and it hurts that you still don’t trust me y/n, even after you found her unharmed last time you came back from a run”

“You are not changing my mind Negan”

“I’m not giving you much of a choice either”

“This conversation is ridiculous and unnecessary” I groan, complaining “Do what you want, I’m not arguing with you”

“Smart woman, make a choice”

“Screw you” I scoff, stepping out of the room, Negan chuckling

“You and I going out together and one of your fine people babysitting it is then” he speaks to his own reflection in the mirror, making my decision for me “This will be fun”   


	5. Chapter 5

The world passed by in a blur as Negan carelessly sped through gravel paved streets running over walkers, shattering their bones to bits and pieces, thick blood and brain matter spattering over the windshield.

“You know, I understand that laws no longer exist but that is still no excuse for you to drive like a raging lunatic” I complain “Slowdown”

Negan momentarily swings his head in my direction, chuckling, purposely stepping harder on the gas “Come on, live a fucking little y/n! Open the window, feel the wind on your skin!”

I groan and roll my eyes. Negan presses down on the button, simultaneously activating all the windows to lower midway, the piercing wind brushing against the skin of my face and arms, y/h/c strands crazily blowing in various directions, out of the once perfect ponytail I originally had them tucked into.

“There ya go, feels good don’t it?” he snickers, running over another walker, the truck bumping as he committed yet another hit and run “Holy shit, that was a rough one!”

My eyes shoot daggers in Negan’s direction, brows furrowed, annoyed “Where are we going?”

“Places, doll, we’re going places” he sassily remarks, a cocky grin plastered on his face

Sighing, I fold my arms across my chest, glistening orbs intently glancing straight ahead, quiet, momentarily ignoring Negan’s existence beside me

“Y/n, we’re going all this way, you want to get anything else besides y/d/n’s food?”

“I don’t know, I’ll have to see when we get to wherever the hell you’re driving us to, see what is left, if anything at all”

“Well that makes fucking sense, don’t it?"

“You asked” I shrug “I answered”

“Right” Negan sighs, swerving harshly to the left, crashing into another walker, my body slightly jolting forward from the impact

“You know what, Negan, stop the car”

“What?”

“I’m walking” I exhale a strong breath of air, my words covered with bitterness “Stop the car”

“You’re shitting me, you want to walk and risk getting yourself killed just because you’re afraid of a little speed?”

“With the way you’re driving, my chances of getting killed are twice as high with you than they are out there, stop the fucking car”

“No” he scoffs “I will do no such fucking thing, so suck it up buttercup”

“Negan, I’m serious, stop the car or I jump out” I grab a hold of the handle, ready to push the door open at any moment

“Alright, fuck, I’ll slow down, Jesus Christ woman” Negan briefly removes his foot from the gas pedal, the speed of the car gradually decreasing to a normal, safe, pace “Happy?”

“Yes” I reply sneeringly “Thank you, now was that so hard?”

“Well, it doesn’t matter shit now anyway because only a couple of blocks and we will be at the place that holds everything you need, sweetheart”

“Good, the sooner I can get out of this car, the better”

“Oh, shut up y/n, you know your sexy ass loves me”

“Are we seriously going to have this conversation again?”

“So, from that response, I take it you still don’t care if I get mauled to death by walkers then?”

“Isn’t that what I said the last time you assumed I, quote unquote, loved you?” my fingers creating air quotes into thin air around the word ‘loved’

“Indeed it is, but feelings change, and my gut tells me, dear y/n, that yours will change as well, soon enough”

“Ha!” I belch out loud “I don’t know what I’ll feel days, weeks, even months from now Negan but, today, at this moment, I can’t stand you”

“Wow, so in other words, I can’t count on you to save me from walkers if I need it?”

“Maybe, maybe not” I respond with an innocent simper and a nonchalant shrug of the shoulders “I guess we’ll have to see”

Negan stops the car in front of a run-down, large building, the long rectangular sign above the entrance, dangling, held up by wires, missing letters making one feel like a contestant on wheel of fortune

“I guess we will” Negan winks a translucent lid, reaching behind him in the backseat, grabbing a hold of Lucille “Let’s go, shall we?”

“Yes, lets” I grab my backpack and step out, following behind Negan’s tail into the the rather empty store “The place that holds everything I need huh Negan?”

He peers at me over his shoulder, his attempted evil glare, no longer threatening, making me giggle “Well it fucking did the last few times I was here. You know, there are other survivors besides us y/n, they could have taken a majority of the things in here”

“No shit, really Sherlock Holmes?”

“You know y/n, you are lucky I like you ‘cause I don’t just let anyone mouth off to me the way I do you”

“Oh my, well thank you sir for allowing me to express my first amendment rights, how great of you!”

“There you go again” Negan wags his gloved finger in front of my face, my hand shoving it away, his pearly whites showing through his wide grin “Feisty already, I like it!”

I bring up my hand and flash Negan the middle finger, his grin growing wider, a sarcastic chuckle escaping his lips “Are you done fooling around, can we look around now, please, in case there actually is something left?”

“Knock yourself out sweetheart”

“Great, I’ll look around for supplies and you look around for walkers, agreed?”

“Yeah, doll, sounds good to me”

“Alright then”

We depart ways, Negan on the search for walkers and me on the search for supplies or, rather, lack thereof, not a single tidbit of food or other useful necessities present.  

“There’s nothing here Negan, there’s no point in wasting anymore time, come on let’s leave”

“Bullshit there’s nothing left, you didn’t look hard enough”

“Okay, since you don’t believe me, check for yourself then, I’ll be waiting by the car”

I step out, sitting on the hood of the vehicle, Negan trudging out a few moments later, his hand holding a small box

“Excedrin” he raises the box, shaking it in front of my face

“Wow, that giant store and all there was left was one box of headache pills. Yeah, they will really come in handy to rid of the migraines your presence brings me. Thanks, nice work, Negan”

“Sarcasm, sarcasm, sass, sass, sarcasm” Negan’s hand creating the blah-blah gesture “Are you done?”

“Are you, can we go now please?”

“Yeah” Negan shakes his head playfully

“What, what are you shaking your head for?”

“Nothing” he lies, both of us stepping inside the car, Negan placing Lucille in the back seat, starting the engine, driving us off somewhere in a direction that I knew led far away from Alexandria

“Negan, one of two things; you’re either taking a shortcut back to Alexandria or you’re going somewhere else, which one is it?” I quiz to make sure, ease my mind

“Oh, we’re going somewhere else darling”

“Where?”

“That’s for me to know doll, you just sit there and look pretty”

“No, what you need to do is take me back to my daughter. It’s already late enough in the afternoon as it is, if you go any further then we may not make it back before nightfall”

“Relax, y/n, just trust me, I would never let anything happen to you, alright?”

“Well, I don’t believe you”

“I don’t enjoy killing women, sweetheart” Negan admits, smirking slyly “On the other hand, men? I can waste them all the livelong”

“I still don’t believe you”

“Okay, say I was going to kill you, which I’m not by the way, but say that I was, don’t you think I would have done it by now?”

“I don’t know, maybe that’s the reason you’re taking me wherever you’re taking me, so you can bash my head in and toss me away to the walkers, no witnesses”

Negan scoffs, slowly shaking his head “You’re really something else, you fucking know that?”

“So I’ve been told”

“I actually think you’ll really like this place y/n, it’s beautiful”

“Well, that’s for me to judge when I see it, now isn’t it?”

“It is” he nods, the rest of the ride being silent with no words, only smirks and glances exchanged between the two us.

“Just a little bit more road darling”

“Oh, I can’t wait”

He presses his foot slightly on the gas, the car moving at a marginally faster, acceptable speed.

“Eager are we, Negan?”

“Well, we were because we’re here now”

“Already?”

“I told you it was just a little bit more road, and it was, come on, step out”

I do as instructed and hop out of the car, my orbs fixated on the beauty that is a river surrounded by blooming green grass and trees, a large, white mountain present, looming in the horizon.

“Negan, what is this place?”

Negan steps forward, surprisingly without Lucille, his lean figure standing tall beside me, his hands in his pockets “I don’t know what this place is called y/n but it’s where I run off to, to clear my head once in a while”

“Well, you weren’t lying after all, it indeed is beautiful” I mutter softly “You bring your wives here with you often?”

Pulling his hands out of his pockets, Negan plants them on my waist, spinning me to face him, our chests touching “None of my people know about this place, you’re the only one. Also, my wives are not fighters so they never step foot out of the sanctuary”

“Wow, so why am I here?”

“You already know the answer to that y/n, please don’t play dumb with me now”

“You know what Negan, if I didn’t know any better I'd say that you had all of this planned, didn’t you, everything?”

“Guilty” he places his roughly felt hand on my neck, hesitantly leaning in closer, his lips eventually locking with those of my own, soft and tender, tasting of Italian homemade sauce and red wine.

I gently pull away, my eyes staring intently into his “What are you doing Negan?”

His thumb grazes gently back and forth along my bottom lip “Not giving up, y/n”


	6. Chapter 6

Windows steamed like a sauna as heat rose from our bodies in high temperatures like the sun, our flesh burning with desire drenched in sweat, skin slippery and wet like a water slide, nice and smoothly he glides like skates on ice.

"Oh yeah" I moan through soft lips as his member, like an anaconda, pokes at my insides, his manly hands roaming my body like an explorer on the hunt for treasure, the deeper he goes the closer he gets to the gold.

"Come here" he pulls me in closer, chest pressed against chest, pearly whites hungrily biting down on the skin of my neck "Shit yes!" He thrusts upwards with full force, this beat up truck rocking back and forth like a boat in the middle of a bad storm, uncontrollable "Oh fuck" he grunts, his rough hand placing a stinging slap on my bare ass, round lips emitting screams louder than ambulance sirens.

"Shit, oh fuck, harder!"

"Gladly, doll" With calloused hands firmly planted on my hips, he smirks and plunges his cock into me at an agile pace, all the air my body possessed escaping me in a single breath, eyes rolling, getting lost in the back of my head, orgasm number one piercing through me like a bullet, I am dead...

Numb...

Every feeling in my limbs, gone, turned to jello, skin tingling at the touch of his fingertips running down my spine, my stomach swarmed with butterflies

Knees weak...

Heart is heavy, beating on repeat, ready to explode like a bomb any minute, all it takes is one kiss on the lips....

One touch....

One more thrust and we both come undone, covered in scratches and bites, battered and bruised

Tired, worn out, hitting orgasm number two.

"God damn-" Negan exhales with a smirk as I climb off of him, back unto the passengers seat, picking up my clothes, getting dressed, pretending like my brains weren't just amazingly screwed out of my head "That was fun, huh?"

I nod, awkward silence engulfing the interior of the vehicle, neither of us speaking another word as Negan fixes himself up and starts the car driving me back home to Alexandria, back to my daughter, back to the life I've been desperately trying to escape from which, for a minute, today I did...

Regardless that it was with him.

None of it felt right though, the whole trip, the love making. I was not feeling right, only happy to finally be back as Negan entered through the gates and stopped the truck, taking the key out of the ignition

"Finally here" He chuckles "Home sweet fucking home"

"Yeah, thanks" I quickly hop out of the car and enter inside the house where Tara sat on the couch singing quietly to my daughter who lay on her chest, just now waking up from her slumber

"Hey" I greet with a soft voice, dropping the bag with only one item inside down on the floor "Thanks for watching her Tara, I hope she wasn't any trouble for you"

"Oh no" Tara stands, handing her over to me "She wasn't any trouble at all but I really think that you should have her looked at by the doctor at the Hilltop"

"Why, what's wrong with her?"

"She wouldn't eat and when she did, only ended spitting it up anyway. She's coughed, cried, and she feels warm, like really warm"

I raise my hand and feel y/d/n's forehead, the heat burning against the palm of my paw "Yeah, she's definitely warm, I think a trip to the Hilltop is the best thing at this point"

"Nonsense" Negan's voice echoes from behind me "She can be looked over at my place"

"No, she can't" I counter, spinning around on my heels, facing him "She's going to the Hilltop"

"But the Hilltop, darling, does not have all the equipment or, rather, medicine needed to treat whatever sweet little y/d/n here may have" he grins "We do"

"Because you took it from the Hilltop, right?"

Negan inches closer with Lucille on his shoulder, his focus planted on Tara "Tara, be a nice girl and scoot back home would you, your services here are no longer required, doll"

Tara turns her head, glancing at me and then back at Negan, eventually stepping out leaving Negan and I alone.

"Sweetheart" he continues with a gentle tone of voice "Yes, I took a majority of what I have from the Hilltop but I have more people than they do and the shit that I have is what will make her feel better"

"No"

"I'm not asking, doll face" he treads closer, his face inches away from mine "Get back in the truck"

I scoff and, remembering how Negan is now in charge, there was no point in arguing as I really had no choice or say in the matter, only responding with a roll of the eyes and a stomp of the feet out the door to the truck, Negan smirking boastfully as he followed close behind.


	7. Chapter 7

Little y/d/n wrapped into my arms, wailing like a banshee as the doctor tried to examine her; feeling her forehead, checking her breathing, looking into her nose, mouth, and ears, at the end only coming up with the diagnosis of her having the cold and flu

"How old did you say your daughter is again?" Dr. Carson questions, continuing to examine her

"Three months"

He sighs "She's too young to have a flu shot" treading over to a medicine cabinet, he opens it and pulls out a rubber bulb syringe "Take this and use it to clear out her nasal passages from the mucus she has building up"

I accept the syringe and hold it in one hand while bouncing my daughter on my knee to quiet her down with the other "What else?"

"You mentioned that she's throwing up, be sure to give her short but frequent feedings of breast milk"

"Okay"

"And also, be sure to keep her near vapor, if you don't have a vaporizer, have the hot shower running while she sits upright on your lap. Trust me y/n, I know it may not seem like much but do these and she will get better in no time"

"Alright, thank you" I stand from the chair, bouncing my daughter in my arms, my attention averting to Negan "You can take me back to Alexandria now"

"No can do sweetheart"

"Excuse me?"

"You're staying here until she gets better"

"Like hell I am"

Negan inches closer invading my personal space, dark eyes glaring down into those of my own "I'm not asking doll. She needs to be close to a doctor in case of an emergency, and she has a good one right here" his finger pointing at the man behind him

"Fine" I exhale, annoyed, despising the fact that he was actually right

"Wonderful" he glances up at the clock on the wall "Oh, look at that, it's dinner time. Are you hungry sweetheart?"

"No, just take me to a room and leave me and my daughter be, okay?"

"Alright, whatever you want princess but I will most certainly not be leaving you alone, not for a second" Negan casually strolls past and out the door, my daughter and I following behind him through the narrow Halls leading to a well decorated room with a bed in one corner and a coffee table with couches and lamps in another "This is my room but, for now, it's yours as well"

I waltz further inside and take a seat on the edge of the bed, eyes gradually prancing around the dark room "It's nice"

"I know" Negan flashes a cocky smirk "Listen, later today a few of my men and I will be heading back to Alexandria to grab y/d/n's stroller along with a few of her toys and bring them back here. When I do, I will have one of my men here with you to get anything you or y/d/n may need, alright?"

"Lovely" I retort sarcastically "Thanks"

Still smirking smugly, Negan snakes his way over and takes a seat next to me on the bed, leaning Lucille down against the mattress "Can I hold her?"

I hand my daughter over to him, where he snuggles her on his chest, drying away her tears "You'll be alright sweetheart" he whispers with a low voice "Your mommy and I will make sure of that, don't you worry your pretty little head about anything, okay?"

Y/d/n elicits a little cough, Negan patting, rubbing his giant hand up and down her back, his lips planting a gentle kiss on her head

"You love-" I pause, swallowing back tears, my heart melting inside my chest at witnessing a monster be so sweet and gentle with a child that is not even his but, yet, continues to treat her as such "You love kids, don't you?"

Negan snickers "What gives you that idea sweetheart?" He jokes, lifting his head and peering at me with soft eyes, lips cocked into a simper

"Actions speak louder than words, you know this better than anyone"

"You're right, I do, and all my actions do nothing but scream y/n, you don't hear them?"

"Loud and clear"

Slowly, we lean towards each other, our lips almost connecting until a knock goes off at the door, Negan sighing in annoyance "Yeah?"

The door swings open, in stepping one of Negan's men carrying a tray of food "Got your dinner for you boss"

"Oh, about time. Well, you know the drill, just place the damn thing on the table and be on your way, thank you" Negan orders "Oh, and one more thing, have a tray of fruit be brought here as well, would you?"

"Yes sir" the man mumbles, doing as instructed, shutting the door behind him

"Wow, your men treat you like a king, huh, waiting on you hand and foot?"

"You can say that. What is a king without his pawns sweetheart?"

"You have that wrong" I giggle

"Pardon?"

"I'm pretty sure it's 'what is a king without his queen?'"

"I don't have a queen, darling"

"Really? You sure fooled me with all these women I saw running around here on our way to the infirmary" I scoff, shaking my head

"You can be one of them if you like"

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Be my wife, y/n. Say yes and all I ask is for you to be faithful only to me, that's it"

I shake my head side to side, ridding of the cobwebs that could be possibly messing with my hearing

"Be your wife?" I repeat confused with slanted brows "You asked me this before and I'm pretty sure I turned you down"

"Yes, that's true, you did, but minds change, which is why I'm asking you again"

"W-Why?"

"I think the reason is pretty obvious, don't you?"

"No, explain it to me" my hands nervously fidgeting with the syringe I've been holding onto for the longest time

"I can provide you with anything you could ever want or need and you don't even have to lift a single finger"

"That sounds great but I'm not convinced"

"Think about this little one y/n"

"All I ever do is think about her, Negan, my whole life revolves around her"

"Of course, you're a mother but, as such, don't you think this little angel's life would be easier and much safer if she didn't have to wait, or hope, days, even months, for you, or Rick, or any of those other assholes-"

"Language"

Negan rolls his eyes, correcting himself "Or any of those idiots-" he continues "To come back with even a little bit of food or clothing for her?"

Negan patiently waits for me to respond but, not getting anything, he continues "We have a large room stacked to the darn ceiling with food and water Y/n. We have an armory, showers, doctors, medicine, an army"

"I-" I sigh, closing my eyes "it's jus-"

"I know you're close to Rick and them, I freaking get it darling, okay, I do but it's not about them and, I'm sorry, but it's not about you either-" Negan puckers his lips and pecks another kiss on y/d/n's head "It's about this little one here"

I open my mouth to respond, another knock going off at the door.

"Come in" Negan calls out irritably with a dramatic roll of the eyes, the door swinging open once more, in stepping Daryl, dirty and bruised, carrying a tray of fruit, his hair covering his oval shaped brown eyes, one of Negan's men, the blonde haired one with the half burned face whose name I forgot, standing behind him.

My orbs open wide at seeing him for the first time since the lineup "Oh my God, Daryl?"

Daryl gradually raises his head, ignoring me, his eyes threateningly glaring at Negan holding my daughter close to his chest.

"Daryl?" I voice his name once more, but he doesn't budge, not even a flinch in my direction

Smirking, Negan stands and ambles towards him, one arm holding my daughter on his hip, using the hand on the other to pick up a toothpick from the tray and pierce it through a single grape, popping it into his mouth, grunting at the taste.

He chuckles, swinging his head towards me "Y/n, darling, will you grab this tray for me please?"

Agreeing, I stand and sashay to the gentlemen, relieving Daryl of the tray, taking it to the table

"Why do ya got 'em here?"

"Whoa! What we talk about when you're not here is none of your business. Do not make me do something I'll later come to fucking regret" Negan sneers, immediately changing his demeanor in an instant, now leaning back and chortling in Daryl's face, purposely taunting him "You go with Dwight, he'll get you a mop, y/n and I still have things we need to-" Negan clicks his tongue in front of Daryl's face "Discuss"

Dwight shoves Daryl out of the door, following behind him, Negan and I alone yet again

"Now where were we?" he tosses the toothpick back on the tray "Oh yes, you being my wife, yes or no sweetheart?"

I step closer to him and grab my daughter out of his arms, staring at her momentarily before placing my focus back on Negan, giving him an answer

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Changed a few things (Reposted)
> 
> *Discontinued for the time being*

Sorrowful eyes burn with the tears I struggle to hold in as I open my mouth and dejectedly speak the three letter word of 'yes', agreeing to join Negan's harem of wives and leave behind a life of struggle, leave behind people I considered family, tearing loyalty and trust to shreds, only thinking of myself, selfish to the little one nestled peacefully on my chest

"I knew you'd change your mind, sweetheart" Negan arrogantly cackles through teeth gritting with excitement "I just had that feeling" he inches closer, placing his lips near my ear, whispering "You're going to love it here baby"

Upset and at a loss for words, I only shake my head, sashaying back to the bed and taking a seat, my daughter's tiny hands grabbing at the buttons of my blouse.

"Why so glum, princess?" Negan comments, noticing my pained expression "Now you get to live like royalty and, yet, you're sitting there with a sour look on your face as if someone just shit in your cereal"

I shake my head, yet again, scoffing at the cluelessness that clouds him "You have no idea what I have just done, do you?" The tear I have been holding in, sliding down my cheek, hand quickly wiping it away

"Yeah, you made the best decision of your life, that's what you freaking did, darling"

"The best decision" I mutter sarcastically "Far from it"

"Oh-" Negan elongates, flashing his mischievous, signature grin "I get it" he sings "You feel guilty, don't you?"

"I have every reason to"

"I never said you didn't, sweetheart, I'm just trying to understand"

"Well, I don't expect you to, so don't bother"

"You're not a bad fucking person for doing what you feel is best for your child y/n, you do know that?"

"Yes, I know" I retort "As disgusting as I still find the whole idea, why else do you think I agreed to be your wife?"

"Oh, I don't know, to be closer to me maybe?" He conveys half jokingly, causing me to chuckle, my sorrow gradually dissipating

"Yeah, you wish"

"Shit, I don't need to darling, you're here aren't you?"

I roll my eyes, lightly shaking my head, my focus averting to the young child in my arms "What do you think y/d/n, you think mommy made the right choice?"

Y/d/n waves her tiny arms, mumbling nonsensical baby talk and sounds

"I think that was a yes" Negan blurts "She said yes"

"No" I deny "I"m pretty sure she said she wants to be fed" the buttons on my shirt come undone, pulling y/d/n close as she wraps her lips around my teat

Negan inches closer, taking a seat next to me "Mother knows best" he murmurs as he grabs a hold of my chin with his gloved hand and turns my head to face him, his lips instantaneously crashing against mine

I pull away and softly stare into his brown orbs, biting my lip, simpering "You know you should probably get going if you want to make it to Alexandria and back before nightfall"

"Worried about me, are we y/n?" He quirks his lips into a crooked smirk

I snicker, shying away, nervously tucking a strand of loose hair behind my ear "Maybe"

"Maybe you're warming up to me?"

"It was you who said there will come a time when I get over my anger and hate towards you and decide to give you a chance, no?"

"And that's what you're doing?"

"I think it's time I start. Never judge a book by its cover, right?"

Negan stands tall on his heels, grabbing a hold of Lucille, propping her back on his shoulder "Right" he winks "Took you a while but I knew you'd come around, finally understand"

"What exactly?"

"That sometimes the bad guys make the best good guys, sweetheart" he trudges to the door and swings it open, popping his head out, calling over one of his men; a hefty, bearded gentleman eating away at a jelly doughnut "Fat Joseph" Negan continues, speaking to the gentleman "I need you to stay here with this beautiful lady and her daughter and tend to her until I come back, get her whatever she needs, understood?"

"Yes sir" Joseph obliges his boss's order, taking a seat on the black leather couch 

"Good" Negan ambles towards the door, halting midway once hearing the sound of my voice asking him to give Rick and the others a message for me, to let them know how sorry I was.

"Yeah, you got it, Princess" he turns his head, sneaking a peek at me over his shoulder, shooting me a sympathetic smile, an action that in and of itself, spoke a thousand words. 

 


End file.
